Hey blog readers!

Kira here! So wow my last post was like forever ago. SOrry that i have left you all hanging. Alot has happened in these last 2 months. ( wow its been two months since we have talked…so much to fill you up on!) Ok so first, my family. They are doing so much better. AKA: they were both dancing the other night in the living room, i have a video i will be happy to post later.  Oh and that little prayer for someone to come and help me that i asked God for in my last post, well he sent me HER! and she is amazing. I swear she is my twin separated at birth. Her name, Jessica Nichole Carmine. Her nickname: Fish Bait…lol. I will explain that later.

Crisfield MD: is now where i reside. I go to WOr wic community college and am pursuing my degree in my new major: Special Education. Yes thats right! i have just really felt the need to pursue this career and i know that it will be stressful and hard, but i cant wait to start. I really have found myself missing Lee and my friends their. Esp. HIM. But, slowly and surley God is helping me get through that. I am still Single..and hating it trying to love it. Of course its hard. Oh! so i was kinda seeing this guy, who by the way gave me two roses on v-day and a cheesy card that said he couldnt find a flower as pretty as me, i mean honestly i should have known by that, that it was not going to last long. See this guy was in it for one thing. And it soon went down hill fast. So after many tears, and long convos with JEssica i finally decided to let him go. Though i do catch myself driving by his house , his friends house, his workplace, our spot, just to hope that i would catch him and he would say he was sorry and pick me up in his big strong arms. BUt no such luck. Its hard living in a small town now, where everyone knows everyone and you cant escape people you want to escape. Though, i have to admit its nice to just drive around go to the dock, and watch the sunset, even if it is by myself.  I know God is beside me, but sometimes it would be nice to have a man there. Holding me, and staring into by eyes while watching the sun set on another glorious day.  I know though that God has that man out there for me, and someway somehow he will grant me the patience to wait.  Me and Jesus need to have some us time, i just have to learn not to envy those around me. Like my friend Kari who is getting married in may! I am in her wedding ( oh and AB if you are reading this, her wedding colors are your favorite : brown and pink.  I will send you pics. My dress is so pretty! ) But as I see how happy her and Michael are, i cant help but feel jealous and envious of what i would have had. Like the other night i laid in bed and cried and screamed and literally kicked because i was so hurt and upset. I asked GOd where he was…why i was all alone, why couldnt i just have someone to love and care for me. That all i wanted was someone to lay beside at night, to give me comfort, to love me, and respect me, to share my hopes and dreams. I soon fell asleep and woke up in the morning, ( something i normally dont do…i toss and turn all night long), and after thinking about it while getting ready i realized God gave me exactly what i asked for while screaming at him. He gave me comfort, peace, and love while i slept that night. Its then i realized God never leaves me or forsakes me and he does indeed give us the desires of our heart.